Adopting a Thriving Life Style

The last section focused mainly on those aspects of self-determinism that facilitate personal success through control of the life situations we create or find ourselves in. This type of success has meaningful impact on the external aspects of our lives and promotes the personal growth of knowledge, skills and resilience.
This section focuses on those aspects of self-determinism that facilitate important internal aspects of our lives, our physical and mental well-being. To address issues of lifestyle habits, we focus mainly on behavioral self-control to realize goals for self-care. The three main areas of self-control to be considered are reflective planning, taking timely constructive actions and restraining impulsive self-defeating behaviors.
People who thrive in life generally develop and maintain beneficial habits of physical and emotional self-care. Such health-promoting practices as ensuring good nutrition, regular exercise, adequate sleep and early detection of and response to illnesses are as important to well-being as the psychological and interpersonal practices described earlier in this paper. Unfortunately, most people ignore many of the proven benefits of both physical and mental health practices. Since excellent information on the nature and benefits of physical self-care practices are widely available elsewhere, they are not covered here.
But, there is always a psychological component to adopting physically and emotionally healthy habits, and that seems the most important issue to address. That component is concerned with exercising responsibility for self-care by becoming informed, motivated and consistent in practice. To examine issues of lifestyle management we return to and expand our discussion on self-determinism, particularly on the issue of sustaining powerful intentions.
Lifestyle goals have been consistently shown to be related to powerful intentions that are driven by sustained motivation, focus and self efficacy. Each of these components has been shown to make separate contributions to the strength of intentions to make positive personal lasting changes in physical and emotional self-care practices. The lack of any one weakens the strength of an intention to produce thriving outcomes.
Motivation for Beneficial Lifestyle Practices
It is apparent that the benefits of adopting beneficial lifestyle practices applies to most areas of life, and the discovery and promulgation of universal strategies to do so would have profound effects on every aspect of well-being. Such mentally healthy practices as problem-solving relationship conflicts, praying and meditating daily, expressing gratitude, and re-framing disappointing outcomes have been shown to be beneficial to their practitioners. Indeed, all of the practices described in this paper are known to be related to well-being.
One of the most important things that could be determined by psychological research is what motivates people to adopt beneficial self-care practices. In the early 90s, congress authorized and funded a major initiative through the National Institute of Health (NIH) to answer this question. This was supposed to guide public health initiatives, so the research focused heavily on what medical professionals and educators could do to promote sound health practices. This gave a large number of researchers the opportunity to test and revise many promising theories.
Previous analysis of research had found that subjects’ sustained intention to adopt beneficial health practices was by far the best predictor of lasting behavioral change. In the case of most self-care practices, sustained intention involves continued motivation, self-efficacy and focus on very long-term goals that are fulfilled quite incrementally over time. Sustaining personal intention long enough to become fairly automatic in the performance of a beneficial practice and bring about a noticeable change is highly related to an individual’s ability to maintain each of these elements. It is easy to see that reaching self-care goals is complex and difficult.
Researchers who were well funded by NIH set about to influence the sustained intentions of research subjects with what I will call information-inspiration campaigns. The purpose of these campaigns was to educate individuals on the value of specific self-care practices, thereby increasing their motivation and focus to adopt specific practices. These interventions were highly effective in increasing immediate self-reported intentions to adopt a variety of health related self-care practices.
While the gap between initial reported intentions to change and subsequent behaviors was known to be rather large, the idea was to strengthen the motivation and focus components of intentions to the point of closing this gap. This was to be accomplished by increasing the extent to which participants valued the practices they learned about.
Information-inspiration campaigns didn't work very well. Even most of the research subjects that seemed well-intentioned did not subsequently adopt targeted practices. The increased intentions that subjects reported in intervention studies just didn't seem to convert to sustained significant changes in behavior. Average subject increases in motivation and self-efficacy were not sufficient. Something else was needed to bolster intentions and bridge the gap between good initial intentions and beneficial practices. Yet people and organizations that promote these practices continue to rely primarily on informational-inspirational campaigns to this day.
One problem with informational-inspirational campaigns is that they are based on a mental control process that does not address the unconscious nature of existing habits. They are not able to alter the situational control of automatic behavior. Habits are altered by the association of new behaviors with old situational cues. The inspiration is not strong enough to get subjects to engage new behaviors long enough to get appreciable results.
A review of 56 studies on the relative roles of intentions and habits on discretionary physical exercise illustrates the contributions of these two powerful drivers for beneficial life style practices. Subjects high in habits of exercise reported high intentions to exercise at the onset, exercised more over the course of the studies and maintained more stable intentions. Persons low in habits at the onset expressed lower intentions, exercised less and actually suffered losses in intentions over the course of the studies. By exercising less and experiencing less benefit they also lost self-efficacy.
Existing theories and past research pointed to two main psychological processes that could close the gap between intentions and behaviors: acquiring important beliefs, and overcoming situational impulses. This research confirmed the importance of two main areas of beliefs: beliefs in the value of the practice and self-efficacy beliefs.
Valuing Expected Outcomes Sustains Motivation
Beliefs about the value of expected outcomes sustain motivation for lasting beneficial lifestyle changes. However, the initial powerful endorsements of self-care practices created by informational-inspirational campaigns are lost over time to competing goals and self-defeating habits. Beneficial beliefs about the value of self-care practices have to be nurtured to be sustained. Two good ways to do this is to envision enjoying the future benefits in a meditative state, and to reap the benefits of experimenting on the beliefs.
Periods of quiet meditative imagination of positive future events can be based in part on the benefits of life style practices. Where existing self-defeating habits serve as potential obstacles, these future-visions can include the use of planned constructive habits as substitutes. This can be accomplished through the daily reflective practice of contemplative goal review, self-assessment and action planning that is discussed in greater depth in the next section.
Even powerful beliefs do not stay “active” without a reason. Active beliefs are those that influence the situation at hand. For a beneficial belief to be activated by a situation, we need to learn to place the belief under situational cues. This is accomplished by a form of planning often referred to as coping planning, which results in what are often called implementation intentions. Coping planning establishes intentions to stay on a goal-oriented course when tempted by stress, competing goals or the ease of reverting to self-defeating habits. The emotional and other benefits of following through on these intentions sustain the sense of value for the goal.
Action Planning Sustains Focus
Many life stories are strewn with abandoned intentions for changes in lifestyle that would have been beneficial. Often this is because the intentions were focused on the desired outcomes but not on the specific actions required to establish a new healthy habit. In most of these cases, initial motivation is eroded by lack of focus, lack of self-efficacy or habitual impulsive behaviors.
The last section of this paper discussed the value of action planning to change our lives, particularly the benefits of planning small steps. Another important consideration comes into play when planning to change ourselves. The prospect of making lasting changes in ourselves usually presents some level of threat to our well-established beliefs we hold about ourselves. This is especially true for changes that represent significant growth in self-control.
For this reason, the goals and action plans we set for these changes need to be within our personal tolerance for the stress and distress they will put us under. We can control the level of threat by focusing on very short term actions that are well within our self-efficacy for personal changes and gradually produce the desired changes.
Gradual changes in these areas often occur over time as a result of social support that provides a sense of safety and intentional thriving practices which build a history of success and self-efficacy. Most gradual transformation happens as a result of sustained behavioral experimentation on practices that are learned from and supported by others. When the practice yields good results it increases the likelihood that it will be sustained as long as it seems beneficial.
An instructive line of research with large numbers of subjects has verified the significant benefit realized from well-focused planned actions to hold regular exercise sessions prescribed after orthopedic surgery or episodes of heart failure. Such exercise sessions have been show to be highly beneficial in the restoration and maintenance of physical functions after surgery and other medical treatments for those conditions. Advanced planning to implement specific actions was found to bridge the gap between initial goal-focused intentions and the long-term adoption of therapeutic exercise routines. The action plans that some subjects adopted in these experiments specified when, where and how exercise would occur. Most subjects that were not presented with or did not agree to this level of specificity lost focus and motivation much earlier.
The success of fulfilling action plans fosters self-efficacy even if goals are not realized. Regardless of the outcome the individual is strengthened by compliance with what seemed to be viable intentions, unlike those who abandon intentions in the face of challenges. We have seen that self-efficacy is the origin of self-confidence and constructive attributions about the reasons for setbacks and failures. Persons with high self-efficacy respond to such challenges by attributing the causes for setbacks and failures to inadequate strategies or insufficient effort. They usually re-engage with improved strategies and greater effort if the goal still seems viable. If the goal does not seem viable because of requirements outside of their control they shift to another goal.
The ability to adjust action plans as needed is crucial. When initial strategies prove inadequate or become obstructed, action planning requires individuals to devise new or coping strategies. Coping strategies compliment initial general strategies through focus on removing or circumventing unanticipated barriers to success. This is where well-formulated planed actions are most valuable, especially if the barrier stems from a lack of self control.
Building Self-Efficacy for Personal Changes
When lifestyle and personal development goals give rise to detailed action plans, an individual can maintain focus on specific actions each day that represent small steps. We have reviewed research that shows that self-efficacy is based primarily in a person’s history of successes and failures in a particular type of challenge. If efficacy is low because of failures or inexperience in the past, individuals can reverse that trend through a series of small but rewarding successes. A success is rewarding if it represents any level of progress toward a goal and creates some self-efficacy for the next small step.
Research and antidotal experience has confirmed that most challenging goals are actually met through daily application of this strategy. Establishing implementation intentions for each day that result in small confirmations of efficacy helps maintain the focus that eventually results in goal attainment. Even if it becomes apparent that actions taken are not resulting in progress toward the goal, individuals experience a growing sense of self-control through fulfilling their implementation intentions that can be transferred to another approach to the goal or a modified goal.

Restraining Impulsive Behaviors
In addition to lack of focus, good intentions are also eroded by impulsive behaviors. The influence of situational impulses is another cause for the gap between intentions and behavior. Situations often present emotional barriers and impulses that challenge intentions more than a person's personality. Walter Mischel at Columbia University pioneered the study of the effect of situations on the exercise of self-control and delayed gratification. He demonstrated that what had been thought to be stable personality traits are actually expressed differently in different types of situations, based largely on the experiences that an individual has stored for similar situations.
This is a very important finding for those who have accepted themselves as weak-willed individuals. What may appear to be poor self-control may actually be maladaptive ways to cope with specific types of situations that were learned through past experiences. This might include such “out of control” behaviors as angering, eating, shopping, risk-taking, promiscuity and drug usage. Emotions and desires that become “hot” in specific types of provoking situations drive strong impulses for specific responses in those situations.
These same emotions and desires may not occur or have minimal effects outside of provoking situations. We seldom crave foods we usually desire after we have had our fill of them. The situation that requires moderation with or avoidance of that food has passed. The irritation at a co-worker can be controlled on the weekend away from the individual much better than in the provocation of the person's presence. Something we want to finish often acquires greater importance when the time comes to leave for an important commitment.
We need strategies to prepare for challenges that are continually presented by situational emotions and desires. While the section that addresses managing stress and distress focuses on emotional regulation, this section focuses on behavioral regulation, with the understanding that the two are closely associated. According to Mischel, rational appraisals and beneficial perspectives and strategies can “cool” situational emotions and desires, enabling individuals to exercise greater behavioral self-control.
One major lifestyle mistake that many people make is to abandon the access to their parasympathetic system for emotional regulation of stress and distress in favor of using their reward (or pleasure) system. This is called addiction. The pleasure system only provides temporary distraction from stress and distress, and addictions interfere with self-care, health and positive self-concept. In some cases they render individuals dysfunctional. Pleasure-seeking is a state of emotional arousal that contributes to stress, rather than providing the contentment and safety of parasympathetic self-calming.
Current neuropsychological research on the self-control of approach impulses that are fuelled by pleasure-seeking has rich implications for practical applications. Three related areas of brain activity have been found to be central to self control of these types of impulses. Certain areas of the brain are rich in neurons which are sensitive to the magnitude of anticipated rewards. The larger the reward expected, the more active they are. These same areas are also rich in different neurons which are sensitive to the expected duration before the reward. The sooner the individual anticipates the reward, the more active they are.
The anticipation of rewards stimulates dopamine production in the pleasure areas of the brain. Impulsive approach tendencies are moderated by inhibition from the prefrontal cortex in the same way as attack impulses are inhibited. Research has demonstrated that temporary disruption of the left prefrontal cortex through focused magnetic stimulation immediately results in more choices of short-term over long-term rewards.
Anticipation of distant rewards stimulates less dopamine production than anticipation of immediate rewards. Consequently, automatic anticipation directs choices to immediate small rewards. Automatic anticipation occurs when desired immediate rewards are known to be in close proximity. It also occurs when individuals imagine these rewards, or have sensory experiences which stimulate automatic reward expectations.
By exercising delay of gratification to reach long-term goals people develop preferences for larger and more satisfying rewards. Success at curbing situational desires in one situation builds self-efficacy for self-control in subsequent situations. Staying distant from and avoiding conscious thoughts of temping short-term options tempers automatic anticipation. When this is not possible, many people distract themselves for immediate rewards by focusing away from them.
Conscious rational appraisal and sustained anticipation of long-term rewards can stem impulsivity as well. These dynamics explain success and failure in delaying gratification. Fortunately, research shows that individuals can learn to focus and switch anticipation to larger but more distant rewards. The key is in controlling the anticipation by intentionally visualizing and sustaining interest in long-term goal outcomes. Exercising this control over time strengthens the inhibitory function of rational processing.
Mischel and others have demonstrated that self-control in specific areas of life depends on the personal meaning associated with those areas. Problem-solving “out of control behaviors” might require considerable adaptive reflection to adjust the underlying causes. In some cases, emotional resolution might be required.
In addition, general self-control can be improved through compliance with well-formulated coping intentions. Exercising self-control in one area of life can strengthen it neurologically and psychologically in other areas. Psychologically, a person’s general self-control is represented by his history of success in self-control in various areas. The more control a person has exercised intentionally, the more he has available automatically. Self- discipline is a quality that can be developed intentionally like many other life resources. It does require commitment, sustained focus and resilience to early failures.
Strengthen Self-Control Through Practice
The exercise of self-determinism and the building of self-control are worthy growth goals, with positive implications for most aspects of well-being. They give you a greater sense of autonomy and control over your life. The exercise of self-control flows from your personal history of self-determinism and resulting belief in yourself. Practicing self-control in one area of your life increases your self confidence to practice it in other areas.
Treating self-control as a growth goal gives you richer perspectives and enhanced motives to make desired choices in challenging situations. Remember that making the better choice in any one challenging situation makes it easier for you to make a similar choice in the next challenging situation, because you have increased your self-control. You are actually altering the cellular structure of your brain to support your plan for happiness. Understanding and applying this principle supports good choices in challenging situations, because you realize that long term benefits include greater autonomy and control of your life.
Take Responsibility For Self-Care
All of the beneficial practices described in this paper require focus and effort. Most of them are simply good ways to take care of yourself and thrive in life. Self-care can be easily abandoned or procrastinated in the service of extrinsic rewards or misguided emotional regulation. Many of the effects of these choices are negative, and some are not completely reversible. Maintaining a general self-care orientation can support an agenda for healthy personal changes. Like any other area of change, sustained focus and persistence in the process is more important than immediate realization of the goals. Each small step brings positive changes and builds self-control. Since the path has no end, staying on it is the main goal.
Plan for Challenging Situations
Challenging situations will arise in response to any beneficial goal. In many cases it is possible to expect and plan for them. Of special importance are those situations where you can expect immediate feelings, desires and impulses to compete as motivators. Three strategies help in these situations, distancing from difficult situations, distractions from the anticipation of immediate rewards, and imagining long-term benefits.
Avoid unnecessary situations that create the anticipation of limiting short term rewards. Distract yourself by maintaining your attention on other areas of high interest or importance, reducing the anticipation of immediate rewards. Maintain images of successful long term goal realization that you visit daily, especially when faced with the anticipation of situational desires. These strategies compliment the practice of self-examination explained in a later section of this paper.
Allow Time to Experience the Benefits
The cumulative effects of many beneficial practices develop slowly, a fact that can encourage procrastination and create discouragement. Remember that the initial effort for a significant change is much higher than the effort to maintain a habit. These facts often make the cost to benefit ratio seem very high at first. However, intentional changes become habits over time. Persistence in a beneficial practice is rewarded by obtaining a greater sense of self-determinism and self-confidence. Beneficial physical and mental health practices combine to foster thriving, even if it is difficult to attribute a specific degree of well-being to any one practice. What you notice over time is greater vitality, more positive moods, and more satisfying experiences with others and life in general.